


look closer, through the trees

by jamesbonds



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Ill-Advised Vacation Plans, M/M, Snowed In
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 09:10:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13678650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesbonds/pseuds/jamesbonds
Summary: Nate breaks up with an ex, fails to cancel a vacation rental, and EJ makes a risky offer.





	look closer, through the trees

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [emilyisobsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyisobsessed/pseuds/emilyisobsessed) in the [AVSFAM](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/AVSFAM) collection. 



> Hi and welcome to yet another hockey rarepair. I've developed a lot of feelings about these idiots and now I'm here to share them with you. If you want to know more about them or the Avs in general, I'd recommend checking out their excellent social media. 
> 
> Much love to #avsfam for dreaming up this pairing and encouraging this nonsense. This is for all of you. Massive thank you to Molly for the cheerleading and wonderful beta job. 
> 
> As always, this is fiction, I own nothing, and please don’t share outside of fandom. Title from a bad JT song that has nothing to do with this fic. (Also yes, I know that as NHL players they wouldn’t even be allowed to go skiing/boarding during the season, but, again, this is fiction.) 
> 
>  
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> Trope: Snowed in. 
> 
> Author's choice for pairing. It could even be gen fic with the whole team. It's just criminal that the AVALANCHE don't have fic about getting stranded in a snowstorm.

It’s late, the bar they’re in is loud and only just starting to thin out now that it’s edging towards two. The group they came with has dispersed over the hours, some guys chatting with girls at the bar, some having already elected to head home - whether to theirs or someone else’s. 

Only EJ, Nate and a couple others are left at the booth they began in. EJ’s been absently watching Kerfy and a couple of the other rookies trying their luck through the crowd, but he’s becoming distracted by Nate, who’s grown more slouched, limper by the hour. At this point, it’s mostly just EJ’s shoulder keeping him from fully lying down in the booth. 

Usually when Nate gets like this, self-pitying and a little pathetic, it’s Tyson he’s draped over, but Tyson disappeared early tonight and Gabe’s nowhere to be seen, so it’s all EJ. 

Soon EJ will have to rouse him, scoop him up and get him back at least to EJ’s guest bedroom, if not to Nate’s own place. For the moment though, EJ’s content to let the noise of the bar wash over him, everything just on this edge of warm and fuzzy. 

Belatedly, he realizes that Nate’s talking to him, a little slurred, mumbling into the edge of EJ’s shirt. 

“It’s not enough that she just had to fuck off like that,” he’s saying, hand flopping around in the air, almost hitting EJ. “She left me with all these plans too. And it’s not even about the money or whatever, but like, what am I gonna do all by myself. It’s so much space. For a whole week.” 

The last word is drawn out in a whine, and it should be annoying, but, under threat of punishment EJ would be forced to admit he finds it charming. Especially here, like this, Nate tucked up next to him. 

EJ’s heard most of this story before. The “fucked off like that” part’s been recounted to him multiple drunken times since it happened a few months ago. The “plans” part isn’t new either, but the last bit snags EJ’s tired mind. 

“Wait, Nate,” he says, tapping him on the thigh to get his attention, and leaving his hand there. “Money? Space? Did you buy another fucking house? You two were already living together.” 

“No you idiot,” Nate says, peering up at him. “For bye week.” 

“For bye week? You bought a house for bye week?”

"No. I rented it. In Vail." 

“Okay, I still don’t get the problem.” EJ tells him. “You guys broke up months ago. Why do you still have the rental?” 

Nate dips his head back down, refusing to meet EJ’s eyes. 

“Jesus Nate. Well, it’s too late to cancel it now, that’s in like, 3 days.” 

“Yeah I know! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!" 

It takes EJ a moment to put the pieces together. 

"Wait, so you’re still going?"

It’s phrased as a question, but in his gut EJ already knows what the answer is going to be. 

"I guess so. It's gonna fucking suck, but I paid for it." He laughs, a wet half-choked sound. “And I don’t exactly have anything else to do.” 

“You didn’t tell Tyson? Or Gabe?” 

He feels Nate shake his head no more than he sees it. 

“They totally would have wanted to do something with you if you had,” EJ presses. 

"Exactly," Nate says, turning to press his face more fully into EJ's shoulder, as if he's trying to avoid the situation. 

Well, EJ supposes, that's exactly what he's trying to do. That's exactly what he's been trying to do for months apparently. 

"Tyson would have just dragged me along with him and Emma, and I don't want to third wheel. It’s always weird," Nate continues, a little muffled. "And Gabe would have tried to come with, tried to make it some sort of group, boys trip thing." 

EJ wouldn’t say that Nate has necessarily been handling this breakup well. From what he’s pieced together, it wasn’t a very clean breakup, or very mutual, but Nate only spent a few weeks wallowing on his couch (and Tyson’s couch, and Gabe’s couch, and even EJ’s couch for a bit), before picking himself up and promptly shutting his mouth on the matter. 

As much as Nate seemed to have decided to move on, he was still more reserved, especially when they went out. EJ hasn’t seen him hook up with anyone since, and if he puts all the pieces together he’s not surprised that this is coming out now. 

“Okay,” says EJ, drawing it out, “What if just I come with you.” 

As soon as it’s out of his mouth he regrets it. The swoop of panic he feels cuts through his residual buzz. There are too many options for what comes next, and none of them are to EJ’s liking.

If Nate turns him down it will come with the stomach turning, sour taste of rejection, and if Nate takes him up on it - well, that’s its own bushel of issues. Starting with the fact that EJ and Nate have never spent more than a day alone together and ending with some other facts that EJ doesn’t want to think about right now. 

“You don’t want to do that EJ,” Nate says, like he has suddenly developed the ability to read minds. “I haven’t been much fun recently.” 

It’s quiet and EJ has a bit of a hard time picking out the words over the echoing din of the bar. 

“You’re always fun,” he tells him, jostling Nate a little with his shoulder. 

It’s a blatant lie, but Nate doesn’t call him on it. He smiles up at EJ instead, meeting his eyes for the first time since this conversation started. 

About 15 minutes later EJ has managed to wrangle Nate out of their booth, out the door and into a lyft. His heart is somewhere around the bottom of his stomach, but Nate’s looking better than he did earlier in the night. He still looks exhausted and stressed, just like most hockey players a few months into the season, but the seemingly perpetual crease between his eyebrows has smoothed out. EJ chooses to take that as a good sign. 

\--

EJ lies in bed the next morning coming up with an extensive list of ways to get out of going with Nate. There are even some good ones on there - he really has been meaning to re-grout his shower and his horses out at the farm could use some extra care and attention. There also isn’t even a Olive Garden in Vail. But also he already knows he isn’t going to use any of them.

He also briefly considers texting Gabe for help, but there’s so much about this situation that he doesn’t want Gabe to know yet. Not least of all that in offering to go with Nate, EJ’s now bailing on Gabe. Instead of reaching for his phone, he rolls over and groans, facedown into the pillow. 

Nate’s already there when EJ gets to practice, sitting in his stall, looking more relaxed than EJ’s seen him in weeks, Tyson chirping him for this exact fact. 

“You got laid last night didn’t you? Fucking finally. Nate Dogg, back at it again.” 

And while Nate’s shoving at Tyson and giggling, he’s also not exactly denying it. 

The truth is far more innocent, that EJ dropped Nate off, watched him drink a bottle of water, and headed home.

EJ can’t help flushing though, knowing that at least a few other Avs stuck around late enough to see them leave together last night. None of them would have even thought anything of it, but EJ can’t help imagining it now. It’s easy to, Nate’s weight against his side familiar, through endless hours at practice, on planes, on someone’s couch watching bad tv and playing with their dogs. 

It’s never more than that though, Nate at his side. Nate his teammate. His friend. And that’s good. That’s fine. EJ’s happy with that. 

EJ’s just finished his turn at a drill when he notices Tyson and Nate talking by the boards across the ice. Actually talking this time, not play fighting and teasing, and EJ guesses that Nate’s finally telling Tyson about his bye week plans. 

EJ can’t hear what they’re actually saying, and also doesn’t want to. While their conversation last night went pretty smoothly, all things considered, it isn’t clear whether Nate plans on actually taking EJ up on his offer. He hasn’t had a chance to talk to him yet today, hasn’t had a moment to get him alone. Not that he should have to talk to him alone about something as banal as bye week plans, but something about it feels private. Like it isn’t EJ’s to bring up.

Gabe bumps into him while EJ’s pointedly not thinking about anything but stickhandling the puck at his feet. They slide into the boards a little and Gabe props his chin up on his stick, staring across at where Nate and Tyson still are. 

“Nate looks happy,” Gabe tells him, as EJ continues to work the puck, now dipping it through Gabe’s skates as well. 

“Yup.” 

There’s a moment of silence as Gabe waits for EJ to say something more. When EJ finally looks up Gabe is watching him instead, an eyebrow raised, and EJ flushes slightly. 

“He never cancelled his bye weeks plans with Charlie,” he says in way of explanation. 

“Of course he didn’t,” Gabe says, shaking his head slightly, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “And… he’s happy about that?” 

“I said I’d go with him instead.” 

“Oh!” says Gabe, clearly surprised. 

“Yeah, laugh it up, I know it was a stupid move.” 

“Now EJ, why would I be laughing?” There’s a full grin on his face now, and EJ regrets every friendship choice he’s made on this team. 

He skates away, and he can feel Gabe’s eyes on him as he does. He’d be naive to think Gabe would leave it at that. 

Sure enough, Gabe drags him out for lunch after practice, claiming that he needs quality friend time now that EJ’s ditching him for a week. While this might not be wholly inaccurate, captains are also always the worst meddlers. 

EJ recounts the previous night’s conversation while Gabe clearly struggles to keep a straight face in light of EJ’s growing despair. 

“Okay no,” Gabe tells him cheerfully, “this is going to be absolutely fine. You guys will train, and Nate will drag you out to ridiculously overpriced food and make you watch some dumb HBO shit and it will be over before you know it.” 

Somehow - and EJ thanks the gods for this small miracle - Gabe’s the only one who seems to have caught on to EJ’s unfortunate crush over the years. EJ likes to think that he’s been fairly discreet. After all, he’s had a lot of practice. 

EJ crams more of his sandwich into his mouth in an effort to avoid replying to Gabe’s attempt at positivity. It’s sweet, but EJ’s not actually feeling much better about this situation. In fact, Gabe’s glee at EJ’s misstep has him feeling just as doomed as this morning. 

Gabe might not be able to help giving EJ shit about things like this, but underneath the sarcasm and inappropriate smiles, EJ takes it as a sign that Gabe cares. 

Gabe appears to pick up on EJ’s continued discomfort and moves the conversation away from Nate, instead chattering on about what EJ’s going to miss out on and how relaxing it’s going to be. 

“Okay,” says EJ, and he can’t stop the genuine smile that’s spreading across his face for the first time today. “Have fun with Tyson when he’s white girl wasted at 3pm and you’re the one making sure he doesn’t drown. You know Emma’s not even going to help you. She and Mel will just be at the spa or whatever.” 

Gabe doesn’t even look particularly put off by this, staring off into middle distance past EJ’s head, an odd smile on his face. He snaps back quickly though, taking a gulp of his drink as he meets EJ’s eyes again. 

“Better margaritas on the beach than Nate’s training regime,” says Gabe, and while EJ might not necessarily agree, he doesn’t know how to argue with that statement either. 

They strictly keep the conversation away from hockey, instead debating what shows Gabe should catch up on and which of the rookies will be first to post something embarrassing on insta. 

They’ve been having a decent season so far, especially after the unending train wreck that was last year, but talking about it always feels risky. EJ’s not particularly superstitious, but he knows better than to jinx something, and out on the ice EJ’s felt lighter than he has in ages. They’re fast and playing smart and - recently - unbeatable. Nate’s lighting up the league with Mikko’s right behind him and EJ can’t stop the swell in his chest every time he crashes into the boards with them. 

They walk out together after they finish lunch and EJ looks over at Gabe, striking against the bright, cloudless blue. It’s times like this, when they’re winning, when Gabe looks untouchable, that EJ feels like if he just believes him - if he just believes in him - then maybe this will all work out okay after all. 

“Cheer up, you never know what might happen. It might actually be fun. And,” Gabe says, his patented shit-eating grin creeping over his face again, “you know what they say. What happens in Vail stays in Vail.” 

EJ tries to sock him in the arm, but Gabe darts out of the way, laughing. Gabe’s already most of the way to his car when EJ yells after him. 

“Make fun all you want, but have a good time on the beach with Tys.” 

“Oh,” Gabe turns back to EJ as he opens his driver side door, “I think we’re going to have a great time.” And then he’s ducking down and revving the engine, leaving EJ alone with a jumble of hopes and fears and the faintest glimmer of heat spiking somewhere in his stomach.

\-- 

It takes EJ approximately 4 hours and 6 drafts before he actually texts Nate that evening. 

What he finally ends up sending just says, “What’s the weather looking like in Vail,” which, all things considered, is still a fairly dumb text to send. EJ has multiple weather apps right there on his phone. 

He wants to still give Nate an out though, and after nearly 24 hours it’s become clear that Nate wasn’t going to text EJ first. 

It’s about 10 minutes later when he gets a text back that’s just a screenshot of the Vail forecast. EJ’s pretty sure Nate’s not trying to be rude, but he’s also not sure how to interpret that. 

Luckily it’s only 30 seconds later when EJ’s phone vibrates again. “Pack warm,” it reads. 

A day later, EJ pulls up in front of Nate’s bright and early with their standard coffee orders in the cup holders. His dogs are bounding up the front walk as soon as he opens the door and he can hear the answering bark of Nate’s german shepherd from inside the house. 

Nate’s pulling open the door just as EJ finally makes it up to the front. He’s got a beanie pulled low and a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. Nothing he’s wearing has an Avs logo on it and he looks for all the world like just another snowboard bro ready for a week in the mountains. He looks good, supplies the voice in the back of his head, and EJ tries to shut it up as quickly as possible. 

Still, EJ can’t help but grin at him and Nate gives him an answering smile, his head tilted in a question. 

“Nothing,” says EJ, shaking his head. “You ready?” 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Nate says, handing EJ his bag and herding EJ’s dogs inside his house. 

EJ heads back out and finishes packing up the car while Nate makes sure everything’s set for his house sitter. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment and trying to steady the jumps his stomach has decided to take. 

Nate’s back out a few minutes later, sliding into the passenger seat and already reaching for the aux cord. EJ shoves his coffee into his hand instead. 

Nate’s face goes through a few different emotions - affronted first, then surprised when he turns the cup around to look at the order, and finally settling in a pointedly neutral smile. 

“Thanks,” he tells EJ. “But don’t think you’re getting out of my music choices that easy. This is my trip after all.” 

The smile has shifted to smug on his face, like he knows EJ’s not going to argue. And he’s right. EJ’s not going to. 

“Ugh whatever,” EJ tells him. “You better at least pick something good.”

Almost exactly two hours - and two excruciating golf podcasts - later they’re pulling up in front of a honestly enormous house at Breckenridge, surrounded by snow. He knows that the rental listing probably labeled it as a cabin but there’s no way to reconcile that word and the massive structure in front of him. 

“You got this for two people?” EJ asks, a little stunned. 

Nate flushes. 

“It’s nice,” he tells EJ, defensively. 

“Never said it wasn’t. It’s just huge.” 

They both sit there in silence for a second, and EJ realizes he’s going to have to be the one to make the first move here. 

“Alright, c’mon,” he says, swinging the door open. “You can show me around.” 

Nate huffs at him, like EJ’s being purposefully ridiculous.

“You do know I haven’t been here before, right?” 

“Sure, but you looked at pictures right? Or did you just pick the most expensive one?” 

Nate shoves at him a bit, but doesn’t actually answer EJ’s question. Instead he pulls out his phone as he walks up to the garage door, fiddling with a code for the lockbox there. 

It’s cold here, colder than it had been in Denver earlier, but it’s beautiful. Still a little too urban for EJ’s personal taste, the area having clearly been recently developed by the resort. While they’re not cookie cutter, the little road they drove up was lined with other similar houses. Rustic maximalism. 

The mountains rise steadily behind him and EJ feels more stable than he has since he first offered Nate his company. There’s no turning back now and EJ doesn’t think he wants to anyway. 

“Got it!” Nate yells over, breaking EJ out of his mental wanderings. 

EJ heads over, his boots crunching in the snow. They can come back for the bags later. He wants to see this place. 

He wanders down the entrance hall ahead of Nate who’s stopped to fiddle with the thermostat. It opens into a large living space, a den ending in a giant kitchen and separated by an island. It’s nice, if a little monotone. 

On one side of the kitchen is a breakfast nook, and on the other, a large open doorway leads to a formal dining room. Situated above the dining table is one of the biggest prints of a horse that EJ’s ever seen in a residential space. 

It’s a beautiful photo, the animal caught in motion, but EJ can’t help but laugh. It’s like the place is trying to get him to like it. 

Nate appears behind him, and peers over EJ’s shoulder to follow his line of sight. When he realizes what EJ’s laughed at he rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything, instead wandering over to poke around the kitchen. 

EJ takes this as his cue to continue exploring. He wanders upstairs, counting space for at least 10 people to fit comfortably, if not more. He mentally choses a bedroom, one of the smaller ones, but with an uninterrupted view of the forest stretching off towards the ski slopes. 

He finishes his round and heads back downstairs, finding Nate exactly where he left him. Nate looks up, a defensive set to his posture already. 

“You picked good, bud,” is all EJ tells him, clapping him on the shoulder before heading back out to grab their stuff. 

They lie around the house for a couple hours, first unpacking and then EJ pointedly reading a book while Nate finds a golf tournament to watch. How there is literally always golf on TV, EJ has no idea. 

He looks up at one point to find Nate no longer on the other couch, despite the TV still being on. He gives it twenty minutes or so, and when Nate doesn’t return he goes to find him. 

EJ wanders through the house and out to the patio in the back. Nate’s leaning against the edge, staring out at the field of snow beyond. It’s chilly, but not horribly cold for January, and EJ just zips up his jacket as he makes his way over to him. 

He doesn’t say anything for a while, just gazes out, trying to guess what Nate’s so enthralled in. Their elbows are close - not touching yet, but they easily could be. The longer EJ watches the treeline, the more he becomes aware of Nate at his side. It’s not just the slight warmth of Nate on his right, the wind not hitting EJ from that direction, but the puffs of condensation that come with his breathing, the faint smell of his shampoo. 

It’s rare these days for EJ to be around someone like this. Not just alone, but in silence. There’s always a TV show or a car radio or someone cooking. The quiet is reassuring. Intimate. 

“I was going to propose,” says Nate, breaking EJ out of his meditative thoughts. 

EJ turns to look at him, but Nate’s still staring out at middle distance. 

“I don’t think she knew,” he continues. “I hadn’t actually gotten the ring or anything yet so she couldn’t have found it. But I don’t know, maybe she got a vibe. That’s what this was supposed to be. It was going to be a whole big surprise. I just needed the ring.” 

EJ doesn’t know what to say to this. All he can conjure up are platitudes which feel empty and he’s still a little stunned that Nate’s telling him this. He’s also a little embarrassed again, that he went and inserted himself into something that was so huge for Nate. 

But then again, Nate didn’t stop him. 

In lieu of words, EJ shifts closer so he can wrap his arm around Nate’s shoulders. They stand there for another long moment, and although Nate is stiff at first, he eventually relaxes a bit. He doesn’t exactly lean into EJ, but his shoulders loosen and he seems to let go a bit. 

“I’m sorry,” EJ says eventually, because it’s all he can think of and because it’s true. He just hopes that Nate can tell he means it. 

The sun had already started its descent over the mountains by the time EJ came out here and by now it’s just a peek of orange, reflecting up onto the clouds. EJ can’t help but think of the California sunset that Gabe and Tyson are probably currently enjoying and he thinks he should maybe be jealous, but he’s not. 

“C’mon,” he says. “At least let me buy you dinner.” 

 

They go up to some steak house at the resort and it’s nice, in a very ski resort sort of way. They eat meal plan appropriate dinners and EJ splurges on a nicer bottle of wine than he’d normally go for.

Nate frowns slightly when EJ accepts the dessert menu from the waiter, but they’re on vacation and EJ tells him so. 

He tries not to think about the fact that this is exactly what he would do on a date. 

Luckily for EJ’s sanity they don’t do any sort of standard after-dinner date activity, instead heading back to Nate’s rental. They collapse on the couch and EJ lets Nate control the remote, although he tells him in no uncertain terms that he will not watch golf.

“Pick something fun,” EJ says. 

Nate picks a nature documentary. 

It’s only about 15 minutes into David Attenborough explaining the wonders of the coral reefs before EJ starts to feel his eyes drooping. It’s not exactly been an exhausting day but they’re halfway through the season and it’s starting to catch up with him. He knows he should say goodnight and head upstairs, but that seems like a lot of work right now, and this couch is surprisingly comfortable. 

It’s sometime later when EJ wakes up again. The TV is off and Nate’s gently shaking his shoulder. EJ sits up and tries to surreptitiously wipe the corner of his mouth. 

“You snore a little, did you know that?” Nate says, and EJ feels himself flush. 

He did know that, has heard it before, but it’s always nice to be reminded. Especially when you’ve also been drooling on a throw pillow. 

Nate doesn’t look annoyed or disgusted though. If anything he just looks a bit amused. 

He wanders up the stairs behind Nate and basically immediately collapses face down onto the bed. 

 

\-- 

EJ wakes up the next morning to sunlight streaming in through the windows and clear blue skies. He forgot to close the blinds the night before, but all in all it’s not the worst way to wake up. 

He stumbles downstairs to find Nate already awake and in the kitchen, making eggs. He hands EJ a plate of breakfast a few minutes later, but before he does he makes EJ promise to go out on the slopes with him later. 

“It doesn’t have to be for all that long, we could just do a half-day or something,” he says. 

Logically EJ knows he should say no. Neither of them should really be doing any kind of potentially dangerous sport in the middle of the season, but Nate’s looking at him eagerly for the first time this trip and who is EJ to deny him this. 

It ends up being pretty fun, and even though EJ hasn’t been skiing in ages he remembers enough to mostly keep up with Nate. They stick to blues and Nate pretends it’s for EJ’s sake but it’s pretty apparent neither of them actually want to take too many risks. 

Nate looks like a natural on his board even though logistically EJ knows he’s not able to get out here very often either. EJ watches him from the top of a run and wonders what sport Nate would have pursued if he didn’t do hockey. 

The media is always asking them things like what they would have done if they hadn’t played hockey or if they hadn’t made the NHL. It’s one of those fluff questions that play well with the fans and most of them have an answer they can throw out. A childhood whim or something that just sounds cool, but the truth is for most of them this was the dream. There was never a back-up option. 

Nate’s the most driven athlete EJ knows - which is really saying something in a league like the NHL - and he can’t imagine him ever doing anything else. 

By the time they turn in their gear and make it back to the rental to shower, EJ’s starving. Concentrated workouts and games are one thing, but continuous all-day activity always makes him worn out in a whole different way. 

The fridge is still fully stocked and they could easily make something but Nate’s obviously tired too and EJ manages to convince him just to go out for pizza and beer. 

They drive to a place in the little village and it’s surprisingly crowded for a Tuesday. There are other tourists, still partially in their ski clothes from the day, but a handful of the few locals. The food’s good and it feels familiar, like a lot of the places in Denver that the team will hit after a game. It feels comfortable being here with Nate, sharing pizza like they’ve done a million times before. 

Dinner last night was nice, but a little stilted and formal. Tonight - the whole day really, now that EJ thinks about it - has been a lot more relaxed. It was nice to get out on the mountain, nice to get some exercise that wasn’t just in a gym or rink, and a bit of a rush too, racing Nate to the bottom of each run. Nate’s a pretty great travel buddy, EJ’s discovering. He likes to have a plan but is also accommodating, genuinely wanting EJ’s opinions on things and EJ catches his mind wandering forward to other trips he might be able to coax Nate into taking with him.

Nate fills him in on how their teammate’s bye weeks are going and they laugh at some of the pictures Tyson and Josty have sent him. 

Nate’s been fiddling with his phone all day - even pulling it out on a chairlift at one point to snap a pic - so it makes sense hat he’s caught up with their teammates. EJ had scrolled through insta a bit the night before, but other than that he’s only heard from Gabe. 

Surprisingly it took Gabe a whole day to text him and it wasn’t until EJ got out of the shower earlier that there was a notification on his phone. The text was just a selfie of him on the beach though and EJ had rolled his eyes and put his phone back face down on the counter. 

He knows he’ll have to respond eventually but he doesn’t really want to face Gabe’s happiness or his nosey questions that he’ll pretend are non-intrusise, even though “how are the bedrooms” really isn’t a question a normal person asks. 

It’s bitterly cold when the leave the restaurant. It’s not snowing yet, although the forecast and clouds threaten it, but the wind’s whipping around the snow already at their feet. It would be beautiful if it wasn’t cutting through EJ’s jeans, little swirls and eddies parting around their legs.

He exchanges a look with Nate as they cross the street to their car. Both of them have lived in cold places long enough to know that this storm’s looking worse than predicted. 

The first flakes have started falling as they pull up to the cabin, and EJ opens the garage door, not wanting to leave his truck out overnight.

Nate excuses himself to bed almost as soon as they get inside and EJ lets him go. 

He wanders into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. The lights on the porch are still on from earlier and EJ can see the snow picking up outside. 

While none of his worst fears have been realized, this trip also hasn’t been the easiest so far. Nate’s always been more sensitive than he wants to let on, taking loses hard and pushing himself to the breaking point. EJ can relate to an extent - they’re both first overall picks who didn’t perform miracles. 

At the same time, EJ’s watched him get more even-keeled season by season, growing into the letter he’s worn the last couple years. He still takes things hard though sometimes, can get snippy and shut off. If not with the team anymore, then with personal issues. 

EJ had known that there was a lot Nate hadn’t shared with him about his relationship with Charlie, but he definitely hadn’t seen the proposal thing coming. 

Of course, that makes it a lot clearer as to why Nate didn’t cancel his reservation. What it doesn’t explain is why he let EJ offer to come with him. 

It’s not like they’ve been having a terrible time or anything. Nate’s funny, not as quick or sarcastic as some of their teammates, but EJ prefers that. Nate catches him off guard, makes him laugh at unexpected moments. 

It’s been easier than he expected, comfortable silences more than awkward ones. EJ just doesn’t want Nate to spend too much time wallowing. 

That’s really not his job though, EJ reminds himself. This trip isn’t about him, but it’s also not about solving Nate’s problems for him. They’re just going to have a good time and go home in a couple days and be able to tell everyone about their pleasant ski trip. 

No one needs to know what Nate told him and no one needs to know about the increasingly jumbled feelings EJ’s shoving down. 

\--

By the time he wakes up in the morning, the world outside is a soft-grey. The snow is still falling, heavier now but the wind seems to have died down. 

The first part of the day goes okay - Nate cooks again and there’s a home gym that they both use for a bit. 

“Can’t let you get soft,” Nate tells him, laughing. 

EJ bails after completing his standard off-day workout and Nate laughs at him some more. 

“C’mon EJ, that can’t be all you’ve got. That’s weak dude.” 

EJ knows he’s being baited and he decides he isn’t going to fall for it. 

“I’m going to go make a smoothie,” he tells him, turning to head up the stairs. 

“Fine, but only if you make me one too!” 

EJ turns around again and throws his sweaty towel at Nate’s head, darting back up the stairs before Nate abandons his workout to come after him. 

He ends up making lunch for both of them, throwing together a quick stir-fry and making rice and a salad. Nate seems surprised when he comes up about 30 minutes later, but happily accepts the plate EJ pushes towards him. 

The rest of the day is nice, if a little quiet and boring. EJ reads more of the western he found on one of the living room bookshelves and Nate does something on his laptop for a while until EJ gets hungry again and starts poking around the kitchen trying to figure out what they can make for dinner. 

Later they end up on the couch together, watching Game of Thrones because Nate insists he needs to get caught up. EJ had stopped watching a few seasons ago and he’s finding it hard to follow the plot even though he recognizes a lot of the characters. Some of his favorites have obviously been killed off in between and Nate laughs at him when EJ inquires about them. EJ tries not to pout because the writers choices about who lives and who dies hardly seem fair. 

It’s cozy though, the TV reflecting off the big bay windows next to them, and the more they watch the more EJ and Nate end up pressed together. At the risk of seeming like a kid on his first date, EJ swings his arm up on the back of the couch before eventually dropping it down onto Nate’s shoulders. 

EJ tries not to think about how nice it is to watch TV with someone like this and by the time he looks over at Nate, half an episode later, Nate’s passed out on EJ’s shoulder. EJ’s chest feels tight and he has to quickly look back at the bloodbath currently occuring on screen. He considers waking Nate up, but decides to let the episode finish first. 

EJ himself wakes sometime in the middle of the night freezing cold. He still has all of his blankets wrapped around him, so that’s not the problem. The wind is howling outside, the trees seeming to moan. 

Nate’s leaning over him but he can’t make out any of his features in the pitch black. It’s more just the faint outline of Nate, with the same smell as Nate, with his eyes occasionally catching a brief glint of light from somewhere. 

“Wha-” says EJ, eloquently. 

“Power’s gone out. So’s the heat. I didn’t want you to freeze up here.” 

EJ rubs a hand over his face and squints in the darkness, trying to make sense of Nate’s presence. 

“C’mon, I started the fireplace in my room, it’s a lot warmer in there.” 

EJ rolls out of bed and shit, it really has gotten freezing while he slept. He grabs a hoodie to pull on and the top blanket off his bed before Nate shepherds him down the hall. 

“I thought about starting the one downstairs,” Nate tells him. The sound mostly just washes over EJ. If it’s important, Nate can tell him again in the morning. “But it’s so open, I didn’t think it would do all that much, and I didn’t want to leave it on if we were going to be up here.” 

EJ pauses for a moment at the door to the giant master suite Nate’s been staying in. He can already tell it’s warmer in here than in his room and he wonders how long Nate had the fire on before he came to get him. 

It’s cozy too, the fireplace across from the bed glowing, bathing the sheets in soft orange and reflecting off the dark windows. 

Nate quickly gets back into the bed, on the side he’s clearly already been sleeping on. He pats the covers next to him. 

“I don’t have to take up your space I can just-” EJ looks around the room for a couch or chair or something, but there really isn’t any other option. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. This bed’s massive, just get in.” EJ can’t tell if he’s blushing or if it’s just the firelight. 

“Plus,” says Nate, turning away from where EJ’s getting under the covers. “Body heat, and all that.”

It’s warmer in Nate’s room, but certainly not as warm as it was with the heat on, and EJ’s side of the bed is still cold. He snuggles down as best he can, pulling his hoodie around him and resisting the urge to wiggle his toes closer to Nate’s warmth. It only takes him a moment to fall back asleep. 

EJ wakes up the next morning much warmer, verging on too hot. The duvet’s pushed down towards his waist, and he and Nate seem to have also migrated closer in the night. 

Nate’s still asleep on his back, his head turned towards EJ slightly. EJ on the other hand is on his side, his arm thrown out over Nate’s chest and leg wrapped around Nate’s closest one. 

They’re not completely pressed together, thank god EJ didn’t actually spoon him, but it’s still intimate. He can hear Nate’s soft breaths and while he can’t quite feel his heartbeat from where his hand is splayed on his chest, he thinks he could if he pressed a little. 

It’s tempting. EJ wants to feel more of Nate, warm and vital and something EJ’s wanted for a long time. 

Instead he takes his arm back so he can flip to his other side, facing away. As he moves away from Nate though he makes a small noise in his sleep, turning to follow EJ’s movement. 

This time it’s Nate who wraps his arm around EJ, and although it’s still loose now they actually are cuddling. 

It feels good is the thing. It’s been ages since EJ spent the night with someone and the easy familiarity of Nate’s body against his makes it hard to breathe for a moment.

EJ’s already half hard in his pajama pants and he tries his best not to wonder if Nate is too. They’re not pressed up tightly enough for EJ to be able to tell but it still sends a shiver up EJ’s spine to think of it. 

They stay like that for a while, EJ drifting back in and out of sleep. 

An indeterminate amount of time later - the sky’s brighter but it’s still full of snow and with the power out the alarm clock on the bedside table is blank - he feels Nate shift onto his back again and instinctively turns back over to face him. 

A moment too late EJ realizes Nate’s awake now, and now they’re stuck staring at each other. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Nate says, in something close to a whisper. 

“No it’s okay. It was-” EJ stops himself before he says something idiotic like ‘nice.’ 

“Warm,” he finishes. 

Nate huffs a small laugh, but doesn’t look away.  
Their legs are still tangled together and EJ doesn’t want it to stop any sooner than it has to. Nate hasn’t shifted either and the irrational part of EJ’s brain speaks up again, wondering if Nate can also feel the growing tension between them, the frisson that’s making the hair on the back of EJ’s neck stand up. 

Then he remembers where they are, what this cabin is and why they’re here. He rolls away onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. 

“We should probably get up,” he makes himself say, even though Nate aside he doesn’t want to leave this warm bubble to go explore the rest of the frigid house. 

It is indeed freezing as he stops by his own room to grab socks and a blanket. It’s still snowing outside and the whole house is bathed in a strange blue-grey glow from the weak sunlight filtering in. 

He’s standing by the picture windows looking out to the patio trying to guess how much snow has accumulated now when Nate comes downstairs as well. The snow pushed up against the glass is up past his knees now and he knows it’s going to be a pain to get out of here later, even when they eventually plow the roads. 

Nate doesn’t say anything as he starts rooting around in the cabinets, pulling out cereal and other breakfast items. 

EJ heads over and Nate pushes a bowl across to him, grabbing milk from the fridge. It belatedly occurs to EJ that if the heat isn’t working, the stove probably won’t turn on either. And while there are plenty of fireplaces in this house, there isn’t anything practical like a wood stove. 

“It’s been cold, so this is probably fine, but we should use it up now,” Nate says, voice flat and not meeting EJ’s eyes as he pours milk into his own bowl. 

EJ gets the distinct feeling that he’s done something wrong, but he’s not sure what it was. He just wants to get through this week without doing something dumb and making Nate resent him, although that seems to be increasingly difficult. 

Nate excuses himself before EJ’s even finished his cereal, muttering something about needing to get his workout in. 

If Nate’s not going to speak to him and there’s limited distractions available, EJ decides he’s going to do something actually productive. 

A couple hours later, EJ has shoveled their walkway out and is sweating profusely. Fuck Nate and his workout plan, EJ thinks, he’s doing just fine. 

It’s not until he’s gotten back inside and stripped off a few layers that EJ realizes the major flaw in his plan. If the general heating and the stove aren’t working, then it’s probable that the water heater isn’t working either.

He really wants a shower though, he’s sweaty and simultaneously too hot and too cold on different parts of his body. EJ’s spent most of his life living in cold places and doing activities in the snow or on the ice, but he’s not a huge fan of this sensation. 

Nate started a fire in the living room at some point while EJ was outside and EJ lays out his sweater and snow pants in front of it in hopes that they will dry out a bit. Nate’s nowhere to be seen though, and EJ doesn’t really want to go find him and risk Nate’s grump. 

Instead he decides to go try his luck with hot water. 

He gets lucky and the water’s still warm, if not as hot as it could be. He stands there for a long time, just letting it wash over him until it gets cold. 

He still doesn’t understand where he went wrong with Nate earlier. Nate was the one to invite him into his bed in the first place. EJ knows he’s not the person Nate originally wanted in that spot, but nothing even happened. 

He thinks back to how much more settled Nate had seemed after he told EJ about the vacation rental in the first place. It was the same thing with the proposal, although it didn’t seem to happen quite so quickly. Maybe it was just that EJ didn’t, or couldn’t, help with that. 

He doesn’t want to confront Nate but he can’t help feeling like there’s still something he’s not telling EJ. 

He’s not sure what it could be that’s worse than the proposal thing, but it’s obviously eating at him. While much of this trip has been quiet, their once comfortable silences - the same ones they’ve shared for years - have grown tense over the last day or so. 

\--

By the time EJ gets out of the shower the power has come back on. The alarm clock on the bedside table blinks nonsense numbers at him and EJ sighs. He flips the light on to actually find some clean clothes before heading back downstairs. He’s starving now, cereal not exactly the kind of protein rich breakfasts they’re used to. 

Nate’s already in the kitchen when he comes down, apparently fixing them both something to eat. There’s two plates set out in front of him and EJ tries not to sigh audibly. Nate won’t talk to him, but he’ll make him lunch. EJ doesn’t get it. 

EJ fetches himself a drink and tries not to get in Nate’s way. 

“Why did you offer to come with me EJ?” asks Nate. EJ wasn’t really expecting Nate to acknowledge him at all, let alone ask him that, and he turns around startled. 

“I just-” he starts and then realizes that he doesn’t have a good end to that sentence. It wasn’t something he had thought through at the time and it’s not something he’s been able to justify since. Not to himself and not to Gabe and apparently not to Nate either. “Thought you might need a friend.”

“So is that what you are EJ? My friend?” 

EJ’s mouth goes dry. He has to look away from Nate for a second. He didn’t think he had been that obvious, but maybe this whole trip had been too obvious from the get go. 

“Yes,” EJ says, trying to sound confident in that answer. “I mean,” he adds after a moment of Nate staring at him, saying nothing, “aren’t we?” 

“Yeah, I thought we were,” says Nate cryptically. It’s not mean exactly, but EJ doesn’t know what it is. 

“So why are you being so weird about this? I thought things were going fine. We were having a nice time weren’t we? Like, the skiing was nice, and the dinners were nice and-” 

“I know you were supposed to go to Cali with Gabe and Tys,” Nate says, interrupting. “So why the fuck didn’t you.” 

EJ opens his mouth, but he really doesn’t have an answer. 

Nate continues on like he didn’t ask EJ a question at all. 

“I don’t even know why you offered in the first place. I didn’t ask you to come and I didn’t ask you to stick around. I don’t need you to feel sorry for me EJ.” 

“Is that why you think I came? Just because I felt sorry for you?” It’s not like Nate’s gotten it all wrong exactly. EJ did feel bad for him. But that certainly wasn’t the entirety of the matter. 

Nate crosses his arms, but doesn’t answer. Just sort of glares at EJ. 

“Why did you say yes when I offered, huh?” 

“I was drunk EJ! I was drunk and I was sad and you were-” Nate snaps his mouth shut like he doesn’t want the rest of that sentence to escape. 

“What? I was being nice? Why’s that so bad? Why the fuck are you mad at me Nate?” EJ can feel himself getting flushed. He’s annoyed and embarrassed and still doesn’t understand what Nate’s trying to say. “I thought that’s what friends did.” 

Nate just bites his lip and looks down at the floor, saying nothing. 

“Fine, Nate, don’t tell me,” EJ says, turning to leave. They’d both been nearly yelling by the end there, but suddenly EJ doesn’t have it in him. 

“It’s bad because I like you and this sucks,” Nate says, from behind him. It’s quieter and it comes out all in a rush, but EJ’s pretty sure he heard him right. 

Before he can really realize what he’s doing, he’s turned around and taken the couple steps across the kitchen back to Nate, his momentum boxing Nate in against the counter. Nate’s eyes are wide and the tops of his cheeks are pink. He looks lovely, EJ thinks, all the anger from a couple of minutes ago gone, and then EJ’s kissing him. 

Nate parts his lips almost instantly against EJ’s, but it’s nothing more than that for a moment. They’re pressed together and if he were going to think about it, EJ’s certain Nate’s probably being uncomfortably pushed into the countertop behind them, but he’s not thinking about it. He’s not thinking about much of anything really as he slides his hand up to cup the back of Nate’s head. 

Nate’s mouth parts further under his as EJ threads his fingers through Nate’s short hair at the back of his head, guiding him so they’re aligned better. It’s not until he scrapes Nate’s bottom lip gently with his teeth, until Nate lets out a small gasp against him, that EJ steps back. 

His hand is still in Nate’s hair at first, but then he lets it drop down to his shoulder, and then back to his own side. Nate still looks surprised, but not angry necessarily. He does look a little debauched, his shirt askew and hair messed. 

EJ’s hit with a sudden stomach-turning wash of guilt because even if Nate said what he said, Nate hadn’t wanted him here. EJ wasn’t who he had wanted to be doing this with, making out in the kitchen of this massive cabin. 

“I-” starts EJ. “Shit, I shouldn’t have done that. Nate, I’m sorry.” He runs a hand through his own hair, gripping it. “We can just- just pretend that never happened, okay?”

Nate doesn’t say anything in response for a long moment. His mouth is still parted slightly, and EJ can’t tell if it’s from the kiss or Nate trying to find what to say. He can’t stay though, not when Nate looks like that and EJ feels faintly nauseated, so he turns to leave again. 

And again, before he can actually make it out of the kitchen, Nate pulls him back, this time with a hand on his wrist. 

“Don’t be sorry,” he tells him, and then it’s EJ being kissed. 

The rational part of his brain - the part that will speak up later after this is over and lay out a nice long list of why this was probably a terrible choice - knows that he should pull back again. That they should talk about this and EJ should get Nate to explain how he feels and if he’s going to be okay with this happening here. 

However, he does none of that. Instead he lets himself be kissed, relaxing into Nate. Nate wraps one hand around his neck, using the other at his waist to pull EJ back closer to him. 

It’s simple for a few minutes, sweet, sort of a perfectly scripted first kiss. Then Nate sucks EJ’s lip between his teeth and moves a thigh between his, arching up into him slightly and it’s then that EJ realizes how much he’s been holding back. 

EJ manages to get a hand under Nate’s ass and lift him up just so he’s perched on the edge of the counter. EJ’s usually just a couple inches taller than him, but this makes it so Nate has a slight advantage. Nate wraps his leg around EJ’s hip and his arm around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair like EJ had done earlier. 

Nate pulls EJ’s head back slightly, exposing his neck, and Nate leans down to bite at his jaw. It’s gentle until suddenly it’s not and EJ gasps, instinctively tightening his arm around Nate’s waist and grinding their hips together. 

They’re both blatantly hard in their pants and it’s Nate’s turn to gasp. Nate brings his other leg up around EJ as well, locking his ankles against EJ’s ass. It gives him leverage to keep EJ close as Nate leans back on one hand against the counter, smirking as he gets his other hand up under EJ’s shirt. 

“C’mon” says Nate, when EJ makes no move to get rid of his own shirt. EJ grabs his hand when he tries to do it on his own. 

“Are you sure about this?” EJ asks him and Nate flushes, embarrassed like he realizes the multiple questions that EJ’s trying to ask. 

“Yeah,” Nate tells him, the pink of his cheeks darkening, “I want this.” 

EJ desperately needs to get his hands back on him then and shoves one up the back of Nate’s shirt as he leans back in. Nate’s mouth is already open under his and the kiss is instantly deeper than their others. EJ lets himself get lost in it and he doesn’t know how much time has passed before Nate’s making a small, frustrated sound in his throat and pulling back slightly. EJ’s confused for a second before he realizes Nate’s hands have moved to his belt and he’s trying to see better. 

“Fuck, Nate,” EJ says, a little overcome already with the idea of Nate’s hand on his dick. 

Nate gets EJ’s belt undone a moment later and uses his legs still wrapped around EJ’s waist to help push his pants and underwear down past his ass. Nate’s hand is suddenly on his dick, tight and wonderful, and his face is tucked into EJ’s neck, sucking gently. 

EJ feels a bit like his brain has just short-circuited, but then it reboots and EJ slides his hand around from Nate’s back to press his palm against his dick. Nate’s just wearing sweatpants, not complicated jeans like EJ, and it’s easy to slip his hand under the waistband. Nate’s dick is hot and it feels a little thicker than EJ’s as he wraps his hand around it. 

Nate laughs a little and EJ looks at him. “Easy access,” he says. EJ rolls his eyes and grabs Nate’s head again, kissing him. 

He pulls Nate’s dick out of his sweats, pushing the waistband down below his balls. EJ risks pulling away from Nate slightly, leaving their foreheads pressed together, to look down and he doesn’t know if it’s his best or worst decision yet. 

Their fists are pressed up against each other now, knuckles bumping as Nate strokes his hand up and down. He stops to play with the head, thumb rubbing over the slit and EJ has to close his eyes as some precome comes with it. He presses his nose against Nate’s, leaning back in to bite at his mouth. 

EJ moves his own hand down to stroke over Nate’s balls and Nate makes a choked sound against EJ’s mouth. Nate also uses this opportunity to wrap his hand around both their dicks, simultaneously using his legs to rut up against EJ. 

Nate’s hands are big, but there’s no way he’d be able to close his fist around both their dicks. It’s a whole new sensation and EJ can’t help thrusting up into it. 

EJ can tell he’s close but doesn’t want this to be over just yet. 

“Wait Nate, I’m gonna-” he manages to get out and Nate pulls his hand away, causing EJ’s dick to bump up against Nate’s stomach. Neither of them ever got around to actually taking off their shirts and EJ instinctively continues to thrust up, just slightly but enough to leave a streak of wetness on his tee. 

Nate breaks their kiss, leaning back on the counter and EJ’s stomach drops, but Nate just smirks at him as he spits in his palm. He wraps his other arm around EJ’s neck and his hand back around their dicks. 

It’s even better than before and EJ can’t help the deeply felt groan he lets out against Nate’s neck, where he’s buried his face. 

Their hips are moving together now too, Nate almost grinding down on him, and it’s embarrassingly soon that EJ can feel himself start to come. Nate doesn’t stop what he’s doing, instead just using EJ’s come to continue jerking them both off. 

EJ bites Nate’s neck as he starts to go soft and the stimulation gets too intense. Nate gasps, high and sharp and then he’s coming too. EJ can feel their combined come dripping onto his hand where it’s settled at the base of Nate’s dick and that really shouldn’t be as hot as it is, a reminder of what they just did. 

Nate giggles a little again and EJ can’t help smiling at him in return. 

“That was good right?” Nate asks him, and EJ has to kiss him again because he doesn’t have the words to answer that question.  
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Nate says when they break apart a moment later. He pushes at EJ’s chest to make enough room for him to slide off the counter, pulling up his sweats as he does. 

He leans up slightly to kiss EJ again, this time just a gentle press of lips, before pulling away and slapping him on the ass. “I’ll be right back,” Nate tells him. 

EJ cleans himself up haphazardly with some paper towels while Nate presumably uses the bathroom. He tries to hold on to the blank happiness his mind was filled with just a moment ago. 

Nate’s happier than EJ’s seen him in a long time that evening, generous with his smiles and casual touches. They cook dinner together, just some pasta and veggies because neither of them really want to risk the meat that was left in the fridge while the power was out. 

They watch tv again that evening, having settled into something of a routine over the past few days. If EJ thought last night was nice, it was nothing compared to now. He’s a little surprised to discover how much Nate seems to enjoy cuddling, never having been one of EJ’s more physically expressive friends, but he’s not going to question it. 

EJ hesitates when the reach the top of the stairs that night but Nate just grabs his hand and pulls him along to the master bedroom. Nate spins him around and is kissing him as soon as they’re through the doorway, walking him backwards towards the bed. 

Nate shoves EJ down on the bed and EJ lets him. He’s definitely stronger than EJ and it’s kind of nice to just let go, to let someone else be in charge for a little while. 

They only break their kiss for a moment as Nate follows EJ down, climbing onto his lap. They make out for a while and it’s slower than it was earlier, less rushed. EJ sinks into it, letting Nate set the tempo, content to let his hands wander over his back. 

Nate pulls away, sitting back and stripping off his shirt without preamble. EJ’s hands automatically come up to his waist, thumbs stroking over the soft skin there, before he reaches over and hits one of the bedside lamps on. He wants to be able to see all of this. 

EJ reaches back to run his hands over Nate’s sides, skating one over his chest to brush across his nipple. Nate throws his head back when EJ scrapes his fingernail around the edge, the soft light casting shadows across the hollow of his throat. He looks beautiful, like something from a dream and EJ suddenly needs him completely naked. 

He brings one of his knees up, thigh pressed to the back of Nate’s ass and uses the core strength they work so hard on building to flip them over so Nate’s on his back, EJ hovering over him. EJ pulls back to pull off Nate’s sweats again and Nate lifts up to help him, kicking them the rest of the way off once they’re past his knees. 

EJ’s captivated by the seemingly miles of pale skin Nate has on display now, spread out under EJ. His dick is half hard, lying against his thigh and EJ reaches out unthinkingly. Nate kicks him gently before EJ can manage to do more than get his hand around it, giving him a pointed look. 

“You first,” he tells him and EJ looks down, confused. He blushes then, realizing that he’d completely forgotten he was still fully clothed. He pulls off his shirt and gets up off the bed for a moment to pull his jeans and boxers down. Once he’s finally gotten his socks off he looks back over at Nate and sees an expression he’s never seen there before. 

Nate’s pupils are blown wide, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He’s got one hand down between his legs, stroking himself as he watches EJ. It’s the hottest thing EJ thinks he’s seen in his whole life and he wastes no time in climbing back over Nate. 

A few minutes later and some mumbled explicatives, Nate’s got one thigh between EJ’s, pressed up against his dick. EJ tries not to just hump him like a teenager. 

“What do you want?” EJ asks him, pushing up just enough to be able to look Nate in the eyes. 

“I-” starts Nate, breaking off to look away, a wash of pink rising high on his cheeks. He pulls his bottom lip back between teeth again, before letting it go and looking back to meet EJ’s gaze. 

“Can you fuck me?” he asks and EJ stops breathing for a moment. 

“Yeah I-” EJ manages to get out, “yeah, we can do that. Do you, um, do you have stuff?” 

“Yeah,” says Nate, “gimmie a sec,” and he wiggles out from under EJ to go bang around in the bathroom for a minute. 

Nate comes back looking a little embarrassed, but determined, and carrying a couple condoms and a small tube of what EJ assumes is lube. He’s hard now too, his dick bouncing a little as he makes his way over. EJ’s rolled onto his side to watch him pushes up onto his knees as Nate reaches the bed again. He reaches out for him and Nate goes easily, dumping the condoms and lube onto the bed next to them and climbing up to kiss EJ. 

A few minutes later EJ’s got a hand under Nate’s thigh, his thumb pressed up into Nate’s crease, just stroking over his hole, applying a bit of pressure but not pushing in. He’s about to reach for the lube when he feels the muscles in Nate’s thigh tense under his hand, and Nate reaches down to grab his wrist, looking a little embarrassed. 

“Can we?” Nate starts, but then instead of elaborating, uses his thigh to flip them, so he’s sitting up over EJ. He reaches for the lube then, pouring some over his fingers before reaching back. EJ’s view of what Nate’s actually doing is mostly obscured by the rest of Nate’s body, so EJ watches his face instead. Nate’s mouth falls open, eyelids fluttering slightly and EJ’s hand tightens instinctively around his hip. He brings his other hand up to grab the base of his dick, needing to relieve some of the pressure as he watches Nate start to open himself up. 

EJ slides his hand up from Nate’s hip to wrap around his back then, picking him up slightly so EJ can push himself up too. He scoots them both back so that EJ’s sitting more against the headboard and Nate is pressed right up against him. He reaches a hand around, grabbing at Nate’s ass before moving down to find where Nate has a finger pressed up inside himself. 

“Can I?” EJ asks and Nate nods, opening his eyes to meet EJ’s. EJ reaches over blindly and finds the lube, pouring some on his hand, and then in a moment of inspiration, drizzling some down Nate’s crack as well. Nate arches up as it drips down, his dick bumping against EJ’s abs. 

Nate doesn’t move to pull his finger out though, so EJ just adds one of his, circling his rim before pushing in gently. Where Nate was giggly and loose in the kitchen early, he’s not now, his face entirely serious as he looks down at EJ. He wraps his other arm around EJ’s neck, tilting his head up so he can kiss him and EJ loses himself in it. 

Nate’s incredibly tight around their fingers, but he can feel him slowly opening up more, relaxing around them. EJ waits, knowing Nate needs at least one more before they can do anything else, but he’s also not sure how much longer he can hold off coming himself, the anticipation and Nate’s little noises against his mouth starting to drive him crazy. 

He nudges another finger up against Nate’s hole and waits until he feels Nate nod against him before he pushes in. Nate gasps, his own finger sliding out so he can grab at EJ’s leg as he fucks himself down onto EJ’s fingers. EJ slides a third finger in to replace the one Nate took out and tries very hard not to come at the way Nate’s moving above him. 

Sometime between a few minutes and a few hours later - EJ’s seriously lost track at this point - Nate’s grabbing EJ’s wrist again and gently pulling his fingers. Nate can’t seem to stop the breathy gasp that comes with that motion and EJ groans in response. 

“Okay,” Nate manages to get out and EJ scrambles for one of the condoms that’s somewhere around them on the bed. He’s fumbling to get it open when Nate takes it out of his hands, opening it up and rolling it on his dick. 

“Fuck, Nate,” EJ breathes out and then Nate is rising up over him, his calves clenched around EJ’s legs before starting to push himself down. They both gasp as the head of EJ’s dick slips inside and EJ has to squeeze his eyes shut against the tide of arousal washing over him. 

He opens them again once Nate’s fully seated to see Nate gazing down at him. He looks incredibly disheveled - he looks like sex, EJ’s brain helpfully supplies - and like the best thing EJ’s ever seen. EJ can’t help pulling Nate down to kiss him, which quickly becomes them panting into each other’s mouths as Nate starts to push himself up, before dropping back down.  
“God,” EJ barely manages, “Nate, you’re so fucking hot right now.” 

“Just right now?” Nate says, like the asshole he is. The last word comes out a little choked, as EJ thrusts up into Nate. 

“Fuck you.” 

“Yeah I think you are, babe,” Nate says against his ear and EJ bites at his jaw in retaliation. 

They manage to hit a rhythm, EJ pulling one of his legs up slightly to give him more leverage to fuck up into Nate and Nate using EJ’s shoulders for balance. Nate’s dick, bright red and leaking slightly is hitting EJ’s stomach every time he comes back down and EJ manages to tear one of his hands away from Nate’s hips to wrap around it. Nate cries out when he does, and reaches down to bat it away. 

“Not yet,” he tells him. “I wanna feel you first.” 

“Jesus, Nate” EJ gasps. He’s not going to be able to hang on much longer and it seems like Nate’s not going to either. EJ manages to get one of his knees tucked up under him and Nate and tips both of them forward, Nate falling onto his back and EJ’s dick nearly slipping out of him.

He shoves back in as he leans over Nate and Nate wraps one of his legs around EJ, massive thigh clenching and managing to pull EJ in even further than before. 

It’s only a few more thrusts before EJ’s coming and he feels Nate clench around him in response. He leans down to bury his head Nate’s neck again, mouthing at his collarbone, leaving yet another mark that’s going to show in the morning. 

Nate grinds up against him as EJ rocks into him a few more times, obviously trying to find some friction against his dick. EJ reaches between them, getting a hand on him and it’s seconds before Nate’s coming as well, hot and sticky between them. 

EJ collapses off of him, flopping onto his back, and Nate rolls over onto his stomach so he can throw an arm across EJ. They lie there in silence for a while, still breathing hard. 

They’ve been lying there for probably only about 10 actual minutes, before EJ’s worries from earlier start pushing their way up again. His heart is still hammering in his chest and his thoughts are tumbling over and over in his head, rapidly spinning themselves into anxieties.

Nate’s breathing has evened out yet but EJ knows he’s not asleep yet, his breath not fully having slowed into the soft huffs that EJ’s quickly becoming familiar with. He doesn’t want this to have been a one time thing. Or a two time thing. Whatever. 

The rational part of his brain tells him that it’s not, that Nate’s obviously not been hooking up with just whoever, that he chose EJ for a reason. The irrational part of his brain retaliates that EJ as a convenient choice, that Nate just wanted some human comfort, that EJ would be easy. Uncomplicated. 

EJ doesn’t want to complicate things, doesn’t want to risk the delicate quiet that’s settled over them. He can’t help it though. He squeezes his eyes shut and tells Nate, his voice overly loud in the silent room, “I don’t want to be your rebound.” 

It’s probably too late for that, he realizes. They’ve already done what they did and there’s no going back from that. EJ doesn’t want to go back. 

He feels more than sees Nate shift next to him. He slings a leg between EJ’s thighs and his elbow comes up next to EJ’s head as Nate hovers above him so he can look EJ in the eyes. 

There’s still a bit of light filtering in from outside. The moon’s close to full and it’s reflecting off the snow, the nighttime shadows otherworldly.

“You’re not my rebound EJ,” he says. 

Nate starts to dip his head down like he’s going to kiss EJ, but EJ turns his head away. That’s not all he needs to say and if he doesn’t say it now he doesn’t know if he ever will. There’s a different kind of courage he only feels at times like this. The dark quiet makes it easy for unspoken things to come tumbling out. 

“I don’t want this to be a one time thing,” EJ tells him, closing his eyes again. He can’t look at Nate right now, can’t risk it if Nate looks at him with pity.

Nate reaches up with his other hand, carding his fingers through EJ’s hair, his thumb resting at his temple. 

“It was never going to be like that with you.” 

EJ sits up, taking Nate with him, not wanting to be in such a vulnerable position for the rest of this conversation. 

“I know you said you liked me earlier,” EJ tells him, “but I’m serious about this.”

“EJ,” Nate laughs, “If there’s anyone who should be freaking out about this right now I think it’s me. I was a complete dick to the guy I like earlier for no good reason and then instead of fixing any of it, I just had sex with him.” 

“Okay fair,” EJ says. “I just-” he breaks off, trying to chose his words carefully. “I really like you too. And I wasn’t completely honest earlier. I didn’t offer to come just because we’re friends.” 

“Yeah I was hoping so,” Nate says, a grin on his face. 

EJ does kiss him them, and Nate responds instantly, throwing them both back down onto the mattress. 

\-- 

EJ wakes up the morning with his arms around Nate and sun streaming through the windows, the snow having finally stopped. He smiles to himself. They’ve got a whole day here left and they haven’t even tried out the hot tub yet.


End file.
